Dancing for Food

Overcoming the ballet body image.

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As I sit here blogging and simultaneously biking on the indoor bike, the hoarding show is on TLC.  It’s one of those shows that’s addicting in a really strange way.  I know hoarding is an actual addiction and disease, but for a somewhat clean freak like me, it’s astonishing.  The sad part is when the clutter results in actual dirt and mold and other health problems.

This morning we woke up at 7 to go to church.  It was a really nice service and the sermon once again hit home for me.  I love starting out my Sunday and my week at church.

We came home and Mat made eggs for breakfast.  I had mine with toast while he had them with oatmeal.


I’m a lot better at eating normal quantities of eggs when it’s breakfast.  🙂

Today we picked buy Oakley a present for our 9th day of togetherness.

day 9

We needed to get more cat litter anyway, and go to Costco, so after breakfast and watching Thursday’s episode of Glee, we headed out.

I’ve wanted to get Oakley a stocking, so that’s what we got for her.  Yeah, it’s not a toy, but she likes my hair elastics better than toys anyway.

oakley's stocking

There’s a little pocket to put a picture of her too which is kinda fun.  🙂

Mat went off to the gym and I used the time to wrap his Christmas presents.  I figured at that point I should eat lunch, so I had half an apple sliced with peanut butter and the last little bit of pumpkin bread with pumpkin cream cheese.



I think I’ll make some more pumpkin bread later.  I just can’t get enough of the stuff!


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A Christmas Weekend in Photos


Ran 8 miles.

Changed the sheets on the bed, helped by the cat.

helpful cat

Ate my usual post-long run overnight oats and banana with coffee.

running breakfast

Went to get our first married Christmas tree.

getting the tree

Put the lights on said tree.

tree and lights

And lots of ornaments.  With my boots chilling randomly on the floor.

christmas mess

Drank hot chocolate from my foodie pen pal – hot chocolate was our first day of togetherness.

hot chocolate

Ate pizza while watching A Christmas Story and laughing at the cat.

cat rolls over


Went to church.

Got Starbucks.

Made pumpkin waffles.

pumpkin waffles
My mom-in-law made us stockings.


And she and dad-in-law drove down to Irvine to drop them off for us.

The Christmas picture is complete.  🙂

christmas room

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I’ve had a lot of breakdowns lately.  I had one on my birthday which was super fun.  I had one on Monday night, presumably because of the emotional stress when Grandma passed away on Sunday.  Then I had another one last night.

We’ve been receiving a lot of news lately, some bad, some normal but annoying (money), and some good.  But all together it’s a lot to take in in a short amount of time.  The breakdown happened when I was trying to sleep.

Having all that stuff in my head was just a lot to handle.  As I tried to sleep, my brain wouldn’t turn off.  As it was, I was already going to bed later than I should have.  And then my brain did that thing where it won’t turn off and you start freaking out about the fact that you can’t sleep.  And then you really can’t sleep.

It’s fun times.

Oh yeah, the breakdown.  Well, as I was lying there trying to fall asleep and freaking out about how I couldn’t sleep, I also noticed that I could feel my heart racing in my ears.  Yes, in my ears.  And feel it sort of pounding.  It was kind of scary.

After at least half an of heart pounding, I finally broke down and woke Mat up.  I didn’t want to because he has trouble sleeping as it is sometimes, but I felt so alone and freaked that I just needed him.  Luckily I have the best husband in the world and he stayed up with me, comforted me, and let me cry.

Because boy, did I cry.  I bawled and bawled, and my breathing was all gaspy.  I just couldn’t calm down.  I’m pretty sure it was some form of an anxiety attack.

I eventually did fall asleep, probably around 1 am, and woke up to my original alarm at 5.  Mat said I wasn’t allowed to go for a run and to try and sleep another hour.  I didn’t really because my brain clicked back on, and I ended up getting up at 5:45.

The work day dragged on like you wouldn’t believe (I had to go to a dance collaboration meeting all day and then go back for the Halloween carnival because the dance kids were selling pizza).  And then I finally got home and got to eat this:

Baked potato soup with veggie bacon, adapted from here.

I also had a couple pumpkin spice cake balls.  And Halloween candy.  Obviously.  We didn’t go to CrossFit tonight (again) because of my not sleeping and Mat’s hurt heel, so I’m basically eating a bunch of junk on a non-workout day.  Oh well.  Calories don’t count on Halloween, right?

I’m planning to do my missed run tomorrow morning.  Assuming I get some sleep tonight…


Pumpkin Spice Cake Pops (Without the Pops)

Today I made pumpkin spice cake pops. Without the pops. Basically they were cake pops just not on the lollipop stick. I randomly got the idea the other day to make these and this time actually put that idea into action!

I started with a box of yellow cake mix, a can of cream cheese frosting, a can of pumpkin, and pumpkin pie spice.

We love all things Trader Joe’s. Which makes sense since Mat works there.

I made the batter using 1/2 cup of pumpkin instead of oil and added 1 tsp of pumpkin pie spice.


It went into a 9 x 13 pan and into the oven at 325 for 28 minutes.



Once it was done, I let it cool completely. I even put it in the fridge for a while to make sure it cooled down all the way.

To make the frosting, I combined a little over half of the can of cream cheese frosting with about 1/3 cup of pumpkin.


Then, all that gooey deliciousness got mixed with the cake. I mixed it all up with my hands to make sure the frosting got completely incorporated with the cake. I also added a little more pumpkin pie spice at this point because after taste testing Mat and I both determined it needed a little more spice to it.


It was then time to form the cake/frosting mixture into balls. I tend to make mine on the bigger side, but you can do them any size you want.


The cake balls went into the freezer to set for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, I started making the candy coating. I used almond bark and red and yellow food coloring to make an orange coating. (The store didn’t have orange food coloring so I had to get creative). I followed what the box said and did 12 drops yellow with 4 drops red. I wasn’t satisfied with that orange, so I did 12 more yellow and 4 more red.



Once the balls were set, I dipped them all in the orange coating. It was a bit time-consuming (this is the one time where I started to wish I’d done the pops version because you can hold them on the little stick) but it worked. The last few looked weird because the cake was starting to warm and the coating was not as runny, but we just ate those first. 🙂





See the ones on the left? They’re all wonky. 🙂

Last but not least, I drizzled them all with melted chocolate.



Halloween perfection!

Now go make these. Seriously. Do it.



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No Pain, No Gain?

I ran this morning.  10 miles.  The morning after my third CrossFit class.  Am I crazy?  Probably.

I actually didn’t feel too bad during the run.  I was naturally a little tired at first and my legs felt heavy, but I just reminded myself to take it nice and easy and not push myself.  I’ve also been trying to remind myself during runs to run for ME and use the time to let my mind wander.

It sort of wandered.  I was listening to mostly Taylor Swift (yay new Red album!) along with some other country/good workout music.  I got up at 7 and started running probably around 7:45.  I had to go back in to get my sunglasses because the sun was very bright this morning.  Fortunately, the air was nice and cool the whole time.  I finished around 9:20.  I really need to get a Garmin.  I always guess on how long a run takes me.

I had a graham cracker with peanut butter before the run and a protein shake (protein powder and milk) when I got back.  I also stretched and foam rolled for a while because I knew I’d need it.  No pain, no gain, right?  Between CrossFit and running, I better be stronger in a few weeks than I am now!  When our month of CrossFit is up, we’ll see what we do.  I might just do my own strength training.  As awesome as CrossFit is, it’s obviously very expensive.

Once I was all stretched, rolled, and fed with protein, I cleaned like crazy.  Lately I’ve been on a total cleaning kick right after a run.  It feels so good to just get it done and get the laundry started before I shower (you’re going to get icky while you clean so why bother showering first?).  When Mat gets home he cleans the bathroom (the one chore I asked that he do – I’m cool with everything else) and then the rest of the weekend we live in a clean place.  It’s lovely.  🙂

Here’s my fun fall themed TV stand.  Along with the Ironman world championships that are on NBC.  🙂


Ok, that was actually a commercial.  Whoops, my bad.

My real meal after all the cleaning was done and I finally showered (isn’t it just so satisfying to take a shower – and shave your stubbly legs, oops – after a good workout and cleaning session?  No?  Ok, I’m weird) was overnight oats and fruit.  I had a banana and a few strawberries and I gobbled before snapping a pic.


In the jar:

  • peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 1/4 cup organic pumpkin
  • handful chocolate chips
  • milk
  • pumpkin pie spice
  • granola (added before eating)

I shook it all together when I made it last night so the spice would mix better.  I wasn’t sure what it was going to taste like, but it was actually really good!  I’ve made overnight oats with pumpkin before, but never thought to put the pumpkin pie spice in it.  Lesson learned: it’s way better with the spice!

So this Ironman championship.  Holy crap these people are amazing.  I’m running my first marathon ever in March and I thought that was an accomplishment.  This guy on here has won the Ironman 5 times?!?!  They probably feel super relieved to be off the bike and into the run because they ONLY have a marathon left.  Oy.  And I thought I was in shape…

Sorry if this was a rambly post.  I just had so many little things to say!  Mat and I have date night tonight – we’re going to the pumpkin patch and then using a gift card for The Melting Pot for dinner.  We haven’t had date night since JULY.


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A Squashy Day

Actually it was a half squash/half gourd day.

For lunch today I had leftover butternut squash skillet.  Omg delicious.  I was in heaven eating my lunch today.  Even though I had to scarf it down.  It didn’t matter.  Heaven, I tell you.  Heaven.


I probably had a much bigger lunch than necessary today because I stuffed that container full last night.  I had an apple too.  But in my defense, I’ve been thinking that I need to eat more.  In the smarter way, of course.  Not in the let’s go gorge on loads of chocolate every day way.  Though I wouldn’t be opposed to that either.

To be a good little girl and make up for the bigger than usual lunch I didn’t have a snack this afternoon.  I also just wasn’t very hungry since I’d eaten lunch later than usual.

Dinner was where the gourd came in.  Leftover birthday pumpkin pasta.


Mat took this picture for me as part of today’s @fitmixer Instagram challenge.  The topic was “your perspective” so he took a picture over my shoulder to show my perspective of sitting at the table.  Creative, no?

And yes, I regularly eat that much salad.  Don’t judge me.

Mat is a slave to his computer suddenly because his teammates in the class he’s currently taking are dumb and aren’t doing their part.  I’m hoping he can tear himself away soon so we can have leftover cake and watch tv and basically be slugs.  Then I want to sleep.

I know, so exciting.

In other news, you should go here and look for my side link “Kolbeck’s Motivational Ideas.”  It’s me!

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Short Long Run

Sounds weird, right?  I decided yesterday not to do an actual long run.  After my long day on Friday I really needed to sleep in a bit, and I’m also trying to make a conscious effort this week to give my body a break.  I ran 3.5 miles on Wednesday and decided to just do 5 yesterday.  Then this next week I’ll get back to normal.

I also needed time to get ready for Kelly’s wedding (post to come!) and just didn’t want the stress or pressure.  I felt a bit guilty, especially because between birthday festivities and a wedding I have been and will be eating more than usual, but I’m trying to shake the guilt.  It’s the dancer brain that still takes over.  :-/

To keep myself feeling full for a while before the wedding, I made a batch of high protein pumpkin breakfast quinoa.  I used chocolate protein powder because we didn’t have vanilla.  I thought I was going to fall in love with this since it’s pumpkin, but honestly, I didn’t.  I’m not sure if it’s because I didn’t stir it as much as I should have or because I didn’t use a super ripe banana or because chocolate protein powder really just isn’t a good option or what.  It wasn’t bad, but the quinoa wasn’t quite as soft as I like and there was more banana taste than pumpkin.  I’m sure if I adjust it a bit and actually stir constantly like I’m supposed to it will be better.


I had some strawberries too:


I multitasked by working on the long day blog post that I still didn’t finish, doing my make up, talking to my sister, and doing my nails.  Then before I knew it we were leaving for Kelly’s wedding!  Post and lots of pictures to come!