My name is Melissa. The last name used to be White, but on June 29, 2012 I married the love of my life and it became Kolbeck.
This is my husband Mat and I:
I started taking ballet when I was 4 years old, and committed nearly every ounce of free time I had to it. Then, in February 2011, about 2 weeks after Mat proposed, I realized I just couldn’t do it anymore to the extent that I had been previously. An upcoming wedding, a stressful job, and overall tiredness and the need for a life of my own were some of the reasons.
To stay in shape, I took up the Insanity program. I completed the 2 month program with a few modifications as necessary and then was going to start over. That lasted about 2 weeks and I was exhausted. Insanity really does you in!
Finally, on June 21, 2011, Mat convinced me to go for a run. It was just 1.5 miles, and was not the first time I’d ever run. I had the shoes (from taking daily morning walks) and had run on occasion if I was particularly annoyed or stressed. We made the mistake of running when it was too warm for a newbie like me and I was not exactly thrilled with the concept of running. However, I stuck with it and ran again the next morning, again 1.5 miles, and it was much easier.
Since then I began a half-marathon training program and have been doing great. I’ve gone to ballet when I can.
But that’s the kicker. Ballet has been such a part of my identity for my entire life that it’s been very, very difficult to adjust. I’ve had numerous crying episodes, and lately my coping mechanism has been to push ballet thoughts out of my head if they decide to enter.
Ballet has affected me life in so many ways, both good and bad. The good was that I was always in shape, developed a habit for exercise from a young age, and performed in front of a crowd several times a year. The bad was that I let ballet control me, let my ballet teacher control me, and my self-esteem and body image was thrown for a massive loop. I exercised in order to eat the foods I loved rather than find that oh so necessary moderation. I often found myself, quite literally, dancing for food.
This blog is a record of my journey to find myself again, to love my body for what it is, and to find a new healthy me who still enjoys her food like a true foodie should. You’ll read often about Mat, our wedding, my job as a high school math teacher, and anything else that may suit me that day. My blog is my outlet as well as my way to connect to the world and find support from people like me.
Please subscribe to my blog and leave me some comments – it makes me happy. 🙂